Teen: Encircled at Zozobra top ^
Last September at Zozobra while waiting for my friends inside the front gate, I was approached by a group of four guys. They asked me if I wanted to go party with them as they encircled me. I immediately felt uncomfortable. They tightened their circle around me to intimidate me but I was able to use the language skills I learned at IMPACT to stay strong, causing the guys to eventually walk away.
Peter: My Daughter’s Story top ^
As a father, I wanted my children to learn to be safe, but I didn’t want them to have nightmares or be scared of others. I’m happy that we chose the Children’s Personal Safety course with IMPACT for my eight-year-old daughter because she felt safer and more confident afterwards. She learned what her boundaries were and how to stand up for them. The best part is that she learned to stay safe without losing her innocence.
This past June, my daughter used what she learned at IMPACT in a park when a stranger tried to grab her while her babysitter was a distance away. When he tried to grab her, she yelled, screamed, fought back, and hit him with her scooter. He dropped her and ran away. Her IMPACT skills probably saved her life.
I’m grateful that this experience will just be a footnote in her life, and not the major traumatic event. It’s like having a near-miss in the car versus a tragic accident. This is what we want. We don’t want them to be major events; we want them to be footnotes.
I directly attribute her ability to being able to fight this person off to her IMPACT class. I am proud not only that she was able to fight this person off, but that she did not lose her sense of who she is and her essential value.
While Walking the Dog top ^
My partner and I had been out most of the afternoon decided we would take our dog for a walk. Strangely, though, I felt extra cautious upon leaving the house, and my partner later confessed that she had too. As we approached a corner a few blocks away from our home, I blurted out, “Okay, I think we should go home now.” That ‘weird’ feeling wasn’t going away. On our loop back home, about a block away from our house, we successfully deterred an assailant from attacking us.
I became aware of a bicycle breaking behind us. I was in “ready stance” with my hands up as I spun to face this potential danger before I knew where my feet or hands were. When I turned a man was staring us. It looked like he was about to get off of his bike. Without skipping a beat, I told this man to “KEEP GOING.” He intercepted his own motions of setting down the bike and got back up on it. He rode past us and I pivoted to keep facing him, still in “ready stance.” He did not stop staring at us. Still on his bike, circling to stay near, he asked, “ Are you sure?” I repeated, “KEEP GOING.” My hands stayed up as he rode down the street, a right-hand turn from his original direction. I said to my partner, “Let’s go.”
As soon as we crossed the street, my partner exclaimed, “Oh-my-god it works – it really works”, referring to the skills I have acquired at IMPACT. I had started addressing the situation before I knew I was doing it. I was verbally addressing the situation before I knew I was speaking. I didn’t second guess myself or question my intuition about this situation – I trusted my instincts immediately. Throughout the scenario, I had my instructors’ voices in my head asking: Do I want him this close? What’s going on around me? How do I feel? And then added ones: Are you really going to make me hit you? Where should I move to make this the “safest” fight it can be?
Once we were home, my partner and I spent some time de-compressing. My partner, who had not yet taken the course, told me that she had frozen. That by the time she regained her breathe, I was already in the middle of dealing with the situation. She told me that she felt safe and that everything was under control because of me. Then she said she’d had the thoughts: “Oh god, she’s gonna kick your ass,” and “Wow, I really need to take that class.”
If two women and a rottweiler aren’t enough to deter one man on a bicycle, it’s pretty clear that you can never know when it will happen. What is clear to me though is that it is important to have these skills in order to prevent these kinds of attacks.
Jenny: Stopped Attempted Abduction & Testified in Court top ^
Walking to work at 8:00 am on a brisk February morning, the residential neighborhood on my route to my office in Santa Fe, NM seemed tranquil. Until I noticed a man in a white car who pulled up to a stop sign and stayed longer than he needed to. When I glanced over, I saw that he was looking intently at me as I crossed the intersection. He and I were traveling the same direction but we were on opposite sides of the street.
As I walked a few more blocks, he had turned his car around and had parked it facing me on my side of the street–blocking my access to the sidewalk and forcing me to walk in the street. I made sure to leave ample space between me and his car but as I passed his car, he jumped out, left his door open and left the car running. He approached me and mumbled, “How are you?” and in the same instant grabbed my upper arm and tried to pull me into the car.
It only took a split second for me to find my voice and to say loud and clear, “Don’t touch me” as I jerked my arm back as hard as I could—breaking his tight grip. He looked stunned and his surprise rendered him immobile for a brief moment. I certainly didn’t respond as the “victim” that he was anticipating. I walked quickly past the car and up the street. Before turning the corner, I glanced back and saw him looking around to see if there had been any witnesses. Then he sped off in his car. I managed to take a quick look at his license plate as he drove away and was able to memorize 5 of the 6 digits.
I went to my office, shaking with adrenaline as I dialed the police. An officer came and took my report and dispatched a patrol car to search the neighborhood for the attacker.
As I sat at my desk, I shuddered to think about what could have happened if I had not defended myself against the attacker. However, more than fear, I felt a newfound sense of confidence because I had seen that I had the skills and ability to protect myself when confronted with a potentially life-threatening situation.
Two weeks later, a friend of mine showed me an article in the newspaper about a man who had kidnapped a woman at knife point at the Villa Linda Mall. The description of his car matched the vehicle that I had seen. I contacted the police and went to the station, where I positively identified a mug shot of the man who had tried to kidnap me. He was already in jail on charges of kidnapping the young woman at the mall.
During the next 18 months, I testified at a Grand Jury Indictment and delivered a “Victim Impact Statement” at the attacker’s sentencing hearing. Throughout this long and arduous process, I realized how much my self-defense training helped me to have the courage, composure and confidence to tell my story and to actively participate in stressful, intimidating legal proceedings. At the sentencing, I was standing three feet from the attacker, who I could see out of the corner of my eye as I faced forward, addressing the judge. During my statement, I turned to address the attacker, looked him straight in the eye and told him how his actions had affected me—explaining very clearly that he had no right to treat me or any other woman in such a violent manner.
The attacker was sentenced to 2.5 years in the Santa Fe jail and will be deported upon completion of his sentence.
Now, when I walk past the spot where I was attacked over two years ago, I’m not filled with fear about what might have happened. Instead, I’m reminded what actually did happen–I defended and protected myself in the face of danger.
Rachel: Setting Boundaries at a Bar top ^
I was out dancing with some girlfriends one night when a middle-aged man approached us and offered to buy the next round. He seemed harmless and we accepted the offer of free drinks. After about fifteen minutes he had managed to get a little too close to all of us and we were all getting uncomfortable.
My friend had just given him the cold shoulder and he approached me complaining that women are too defensive and that he isn’t a bad guy. He said this as his hand crept up my leg. I pushed his hand off my leg and told him to stop touching me, pointing out the contradiction of his behavior. He considered my observation to be sign of intellectual brilliance and became incredibly persistent. “You’re amazing. You’re so amazing,” he kept saying to me. He turned my head towards him and aggressively tried to kiss me. Instantly, my training kicked in. I put up my hands and yelled “NO!”
Everyone in that end of the bar heard it loud and clear, even over the live band. Half the bar turned and looked at him. He asked, “Well, why not?” I said at the same volume, “Because I don’t want to!”
He shied away for about an hour, thoroughly embarrassed, and then came back to give it another try. I was talking to a friend when he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I turned around and said, “Get your hands off me or I’ll have you thrown out.” 
He stepped back put his head down and said, “Well, then, maybe I should leave.” “Maybe you should.” I replied.
He got up and stormed out of the bar. I haven’t seen him there since.
Able to Listen top ^
When I began Basics, I said that I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with situations such as people asking me for money in parking lots at night. I find it very appropriate that my first significant opportunity to apply my new awareness and skills from IMPACT came while on the way home from graduation!
I stopped at the grocery store. As I was going in, I noticed a woman walking up to another shopper at her car to ask her something. After I did my shopping, anticipating that this woman would approach me, I got my things ready and in-hand while still inside. On the way to my car, sure enough she came up to me. She said that she is homeless and the shelter was full that night. She told me she had a meeting with a homeless services person in the morning, but needed money to stay somewhere that night. She tried to sell me the jewelry she was wearing.
In this interaction, though I never felt physically at risk, I noticed that I approached this differently than I would have before. I anticipated her approach beforehand, kept my distance from her as I listened to what she was asking, and from a new place of control and calm was able to assess whether I was willing to assist. Interestingly, I found that, instead of hurrying past this person and dismissing her as before, I felt that my new skills allowed me to interact with her compassionately and in a position of control and calm. That’s powerful!
Tanya: Breast-Grabber top ^
I was power-walking on the path behind my apartment building as I did every evening after work. I had my headphones on but they were on low so that I could hear if someone approached me (just like I learned in class!). As I was walking, I heard a bike approaching behind me. I moved to the side of the path to make room for the biker to pass and the next thing I knew, a man’s hand was squeezing my breast!
I knocked his hand off of me and yelled “What the f*!k are you doing?!” His eyes were as wide as saucers and he started peddling madly away. Apparently he didn’t expect such an angry, impassioned response.
Afterwards, my friends were astonished that I still did my daily power-walk at the same time, same place. I didn’t change my behavior and hide in my apartment because some creepy breast-grabber (perhaps more) was out there. I did however, turn to look at every biker who passed me on the path after that. I guess the breast-grabber must have stayed away from my neighborhood after that because I never saw him again.
Before IMPACT, I would have left victimized after this incident – and frightened and powerless. After taking this class, I KNEW that I could physically defend myself and I also KNEW that no one has the right to hurt me or violate me. While I do know that the world is a dangerous place, I also know that with my new-found awareness and confidence I can thrive and if necessary, protect myself from others. This class changed my life.
Followed by Two Mentop ^
I had took my first IMPACT class a few months before I went home to San Francisco for the summer after my first year at college. Some friends and I went to a rave in the city. We parked in an alley that bridged two busy streets. The party was around the corner and down another alley. Once we got to the party, I decided that it would be smarter to leave my bag in the car so I wouldn’t loose it. I asked my friend to come with me so I wouldn’t be “that girl who walks down dark alleys alone.”
As we turned the corner to the alley where we had parked the car, I watched a pan-handler look around him, set down his container and start following us. On the same side, but across the street, another man started walking into the alley. We were being followed by two men. My friend, still chatting away, was totally unaware of what was happening. I grabbed her arm and guided her into the middle of the alley, where we weren’t bracketed by a concrete wall and parked cars. The alley where our car was parked was in the shape of an “L”, and we still had to turn the corner (where it was much darker and isolated) to get to it. I decided to turn around and face one of the men – the one who was now closest to us. I pulled her behind me and asked him, “What can I do for you?” He came closer, I told him to stop. He “only” wanted money, he said, and came a little closer. I could’ve sworn he was an IMPACT plant. He was saying EXACTLY what I heard in class!! Then he stopped, put down his hand, and said: “I really don’t want any money, that guy is bad news and I was worried about you two.” I thanked him for his concern and told him that the most help he could offer would be to leave. I actually did believe him because he didn’t give me the “willies”, but I thought it was smarter to ask him to leave. Meanwhile the other guy – who absolutely gave me the “willies” – had wedged himself in an inlet in the wall. He waited for a bit and then walked away, in the opposite direction.
Both men gone, we got back to the party safely.
Nicholas: Using My Intuition at the Gas Station top ^
I was at the gas station. I slid my credit card and filled up, but the receipt did not print out and I needed to go inside for a copy. It was warm that day and I had all my car windows open. For a moment, I thought, “I’ll only be a minute. If I leave the car open nothing will happen” and, “If you take the time to roll up the windows you might be late getting home.” Well, I didn’t listen to my hurried mind. I listened to my training and my intuition; I closed the windows and locked the doors.
On my way back to my car after retrieving the receipt from the cashier, I noticed a guy walking out from behind my car. I had a slightly strange sense about it. It seemed like he had just been doing something that he shouldn’t have been doing.
He saw me coming and started to walk around me and then changed his mind and approached me. He stuck out his hand for a handshake and said, “Hi, my name is Kevin”. I put my hand up in the universal STOP position and said “I’m not interested” as I faced him, made eye contact and let him know with my posture that the conversation was over. He paused, then said, “can I at least get to the point?” and I said, “I’m leaving.” Continued my walk to the car door, watching him with my peripheral vision (he walked away as I got in the car with an attitude of disgust and some mumbled words I couldn’t hear), got in my car and drove away. I feel sure that:
· By locking my car I prevented a robbery.
· Kevin would have kept talking to me and made me feel very uncomfortable if I had not cut him short.
· Maintaining the smaller deterrents like locking the car and disengaging from an uncomfortable interaction make it less likely that I will ever have to use my more dangerous physical skills.
· If I had interrupted Kevin while he was stealing, he would have had no compunction against committing assault.
· Because of my training, I made the right decisions and acted in appropriate ways to keep myself safe.
My Daughter’s IMPACT Skills top ^
When my daughters and I took the 20-hr Women’s class, I wondered how much of the class would stick with them later on. My 17 year-old daughter and I were recently in San Diego and were walking in a parking lot at night when we saw a “suspicious” looking person was walking towards us. My daughter grabbed my elbow, whispered, “avoid a potentially dangerous situation,” and steered me to the other side of the parking lot. Nothing untoward occurred with the stranger and I was so happy to know that she retained what she learned with all of you.
Renee: The Money I’ve Savedtop ^
It’s slowly dawned on me how much money I’ve earned/saved since taking Women’s Basics two years ago. I wouldn’t have ever anticipated it, but it makes sense with the verbal skills taught in classes.
Recently, when I was at the auto shop, I was really clear about not paying for secondary problems with the car when they should have found the original problem earlier. Also, I do a lot of side-work – I’ve gotten much better at stating the amount of money I want in exchange for my work…and not apologizing for it. I’m incredibly thankful that I now feel completely physically secure, but I’m amazed that I also have more money because of the course!
Larissa: Protecting Myself Emotionally top ^
I had been working for my boss and friend for some months and I really enjoyed the work. But, increasingly, we experienced conflict. She would be angry with me for not doing something, and I would feel defensive, hurt and angry because I either thought I had done it or did not have what I needed from her to complete the task.
I was so glad I had practiced setting boundaries at IMPACT. With my boss, I repeated the communication strategies I learned over and over and it felt like my only protection between me and her increasingly bullying behavior.
In the end, setting these boundaries with her didn’t “work.” She didn’t respect the needs I voiced and continued to get very angry and be suspicious of me. Even though this process it was painful, it helped me assess the situation. It was because she didn’t respond to my direct, reasonable requests that I decided to leave my job. I felt depressed that the relationship had ended so badly, but I knew I had to protect myself emotionally from what had become a toxic environment.
But the whole situation brought home something that I had learned at IMPACT; sometimes, walking away – even when you think that they are in the wrong and you are in the right – is more important than putting yourself in a position where you could get hurt.
I decided to take the Advanced Basics class and it was a really healing experience after leaving my job. Advanced reminded me of what I had learned in my first IMPACT class. That is, that I value myself more than I value what people think of me and I deserve to protect myself in whatever sort of situation.
Greta: Fighting Back Fiercely While on Vacation top ^
Nine months ago, I vacationed in another country. One night, I went for a walk on the 
beach with several friends after dark, within sight of and in the light from the resort. We thought our awareness and our numbers would be enough to keep us protected. This was not the case. We were attacked by two men. One came right at me.
In the moment, I felt anger—not fear—at being attacked and fought back fiercely. I wasn’t surprised I fought back; during IMPACT training I found my “fighting spirit” easy to access. I had clarity and precision, and acted in a logical, effective manner.
I had the presence of mind to realize that the silence around me meant that I was not using 
my voice! I reminded myself to breathe and yell – and I found my reserve of strength. My assailant—shocked at my loud, powerful resistance—backed off. My frozen friends responded to my instructions and we ran to safety.
This experience, far from making me fearful of travel, has instead left me with a sense of empowerment. I trust myself more than ever before. I have realistic confidence in my own ability to keep myself safe.
Because of skills I learned and practiced at IMPACT I navigate and engage with the world in a way that is healthier, safer and, ultimately, more joyful!
