Safety Choices

At IMPACT, we use safety “choices” instead of safety “tips” for a few reasons.  Tips that sound like prescriptions (“always walk with a friend,” “never park in a bad part of town”) are suspect for two reasons: first, it sounds like if you follow them, then nothing can ever happen to you.  And second, they give the impression that if you don’t follow them, you are being irresponsible.

Everyone has a different level of risk tolerance; what is good practice to one person could feel stifling to another; what is comfortable for another person might be way too risky for the next person.  And, even as safety experts, we are not with a person on the scene, and thus are not privy to all the factors they are in that particular situation: so a pat answer is not always the best answer. If you want skills to address the ways that most dangerous situations happen, consider taking a personal safety course.  Skills, not “tips” are the most flexible, useful tools to stay safe.  “How to choose a self-defense course” is the last section of our safety choices.  Click to download IMPACT’s Safety Choices.

 

Suggestions to consider for keeping safe:

General Awareness

  • Trust your intuition.  Believe yourself in the moment about whether or not a situation is safe.
  • Be aware of people around you and how you are feeling about them.
  • Use all of your senses to be aware of what is going on around you.

Awareness In Your Home

  • Think before you give out personal information or information regarding your daily routine.
  • When you go somewhere alone outside of your daily routine, consider letting someone know where you are going and when you expect to return.
  • If you are going to arrive home after dark, consider keeping an outside light on.
  • Note that people can see in through windows, especially at night when lights are on. Consider closing your curtains or blinds.
  • Decide how you want to answer the door.  (Do you check the peephole?  Should children be allowed to answer?  Do you ask service personnel for ID?)
  • Do not depend on your dog for more than an alarm.
  • If you hear a prowler, turn on your outside lights and call the police. Alert your neighbors.

Awareness In Your Car

  • Locate your keys before you go outside to your car.
  • Lock your car when you leave it.
  • Be aware of your gas tank level; refill it before you risk of running out.
  • Keep all valuables out of sight and avoid leaving personal information in open view.
  • If you have car trouble, don’t accept help from anyone you have a bad feeling about.
  • If you discover you are being followed, drive to an open business or a public place.  Wait to go home until you are not being followed or have received help.
  • If anyone demands your car from you, it is safest to cooperate. Keep the assailant informed as you move deliberately and quickly. (“Okay, let me unbuckle my seat belt;” “My child is in the back seat, please let me get her out.”)
  • If you are driving someone home, offer to wait until s/he has entered the house before leaving.

A Dangerous or Manipulative Person Is Someone Who:

  • Ignores the word “No”.
  • Tries to make you feel guilty for setting a boundary or saying “No”.
  • Gives too much unasked for detail and explanation.
  • Uses charm and is flattering in a way that makes you feel uneasy.
  • Uses “we” to suggest you have a common interest (“what should we do…?”), when you hardly know him.
  • Accuses you of being something (“rude”, “uptight”) so that you will prove him wrong by doing something you don’t want to do.

Internet Safety

  • Be aware that it is very easy for someone to pretend to be someone s/he is not over email or in chat rooms (age, gender, lifestyle.)
  • Read websites’ privacy polices to know what will be done with any personal information you give.
  • If a website or email requesting information looks unprofessional (has spelling mistakes, informal email address, etc.), do not leave personal information.
  • Do not respond to personal emails that are offensive or threatening.  Do not delete them, and report them to law enforcement.

Internet Safety With Children

  • Keep the computer in a communal room, facing out.
  • Post rules by the computer and/or have them sign a safety pledge.
  • Children should have nondescript screen names/email addresses that do not identify them as children and do not reveal interests (i.e. not “missy13” or “abercomshopper95”.)
  • Talk to children about what to do it they see something that makes them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused.  Show them to turn off the monitor and emphasize that it is not their fault if they have seen something upsetting.  Remind them to let an adult know immediately.

How To Choose A Self-Defense Program

  • Look for more than physical skills.  True self-defense is a set of awareness, assertiveness and verbal confrontation skills along with safety strategies and physical techniques.
  • Empowerment and peace of mind are the goals of a good program; program’s results should not be paranoia or fear.
  • Good self-defense programs do not “tell” an individual what s/he “should” do.  A program should offer options and techniques for likely situations.
  • It acknowledges you are the best person to decide how to keep yourself safe: does not have list of “safety tips” that you must follow in order to stay safe.
  • Look for a program that is a limited time (between a few hours and a semester long) and that does not require an indefinite commitment or “refresher” courses.
  • A good self-defense program will acknowledge that abuse and assault are never the victim’s fault.  People do not ask for, cause, invite, or deserve to be assaulted.  It is not their fault if they are verbally or physically unable to prevent an attack.  People may exercise poor judgment about safety behavior, but that does not make them responsible for the attack.  Attackers are responsible for their attacks and their use of violence to overpower, control, and abuse another human being.